During the 2.5 weeks since writing this post I’ve played at least 1 hour of:
Alice: Madness Returns
Dragon Age: Inquisition
Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen
Genshin Impact
Journey (finished)
Minecraft
Monster Hunter: World
Outer Wilds
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered*
The Elder Scrolls Online
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
The Red Strings Club
It’s been a nice tasting menu, but I’ll probably reduce the variety now and focus on just two or three games at a time. Ideally, one RPG with a long campaign for the weekends, and a couple of games I can jump in and out of for 30 minutes a day.
*The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered was released yesterday, and I’ve been able to play a little thanks to a shared Game Pass account. My 3050 Ti graphics card said “what do you think you’re doing?”, and even though dungeons are playable with low settings, when I step to the exterior the FPS drop is too high. So I have come to terms with the fact that I won’t be able to play it comfortably for a while, since a new PC or a PS5 don’t seem to be in my immediate future.
These weeks I have been reminded that I have more than I need, and how lucky I am to be living in a time where playing anything ever released is so accesible. It would take me several lifetimes to finish every game in my library. If I had a journal of gratitude, I’d write that.
According to Cambridge Dictionary, “backlog” means “a large number of things that you should have done before and must do now.” I read that word for the first time around three years ago in the subreddit /patientgamers, meaning the games users have in their libraries but haven’t played yet. In that subreddit, they discuss playing non-current games, and it’s common for them to buy games many years after their release. Using sites like gg.deals to check when the game you want is on sale, it’s common to come across many other games you weren’t initially looking for, and end up buying them to play sometime in the future. Or that’s what you think.
I bought Stardew Valley in October 2021, and it’s my most played game with 388 hours of playtime. I bought Serial Cleaner in August 2021 and I haven’t opened it yet. Half of the games in my Steam library have never been installed. I’d say it’s close to 95% in the case of Epic Games, where they give away one free game every week. Same with GOG.com, where I’ve collected many free games I don’t know if I’ll ever play.
Browsing the combined collection of games from different libraries, through apps like Playnite can be overwhelming. There’s a thought that it would be a shame not to play those games, especially the ones I did paid for. But there’s enough pressure to be productive at work, and I don’t want my free time to feel like a list of duties as well. A collection of movies, TV shows, music or games I’ve yet to enjoy shouldn’t make me feel guilty.
The money’s already spent, and playing the games or not isn’t going to give it back. But I want to feel drawn to those games the way I did when I first got them. It’s usually as simple as opening one up and playing for a few minutes. Most times I end up enjoying it and continue playing for the rest of the evening.
I haven’t made a list of games I have to finish, but I have made a list of games I want to play for at least 1 hour in 2025. Some I’ve already completed on other platforms, like Dragon Age: Inquisition, Inside or Journey on PS4. Some I’ve played for a few hours already, like Age of Empires II, Outer Wilds or Hades. And some I’ve never touched, like Little Nightmares or Oxenfree.
Finishing 38 games, even over many years, is a big task. Playing 1 hour of 38 different games without pressure is very achievable, and more importantly, something I think I’ll enjoy.
I started with Outer Wilds yesterday, and it was a refreshing experience after months of playing the same five games and ignoring the rest. As a bonus, it’s a great way to escape the trap of battle passes, and knowing I’m going to give a game only as much time as I want, not as I think I should.
My list of games to play for at least 1 hour in 2025
Ariana Grande is the only artist I’ve become a “fan” of as an adult. Quoted, because I’m not really a hardcore fan of any artist and I’m open to disappointment. Morrissey played a big part in me having this mindset. Hopefully, the other two artists I’ve been a fan of since I was a teenager, Kylie Minogue and Madonna, don’t end up supporting right-wing parties on national television like he did.
Ariana’s eternal sunshine has been my comfort album this past year. It’s full of feminine energy. Her voice sounds better than ever and her enunciation on this album is perfect, probably due to training for the musical movie Wicked around the same time she recorded it. My Spanish ears can understand everything without checking the lyrics this time. All the tracks have an Adult Contemporary Chart feeling, with R&B and soft dance music.
It has been re-released this weekend under the name eternal sunshine deluxe: brighter days ahead, including 6 new songs. This album was already a safe place for me to go on bad days, and the “better days ahead” title puts an emphasis on it. I was happy to see the new tracks are not live versions or remixes, except for an extended version of the intro. They’re completely new songs, worth being included, and they add so much to the album.
I started dating at sixteen, around a month after I got internet at home, and thanks to it. As a gay introverted teenager with no queer classmates, there weren’t many chances for me to meet new love interests the same ways my straight friends did.
My love life and my internet life started around the same time and have often been intertwined. It took some time until people I was dating had an online presence beyond email and MSN Messenger. I don’t recall any of them being a blogger or even having a MySpace, but it got to a point in the late 2000s when everyone had Facebook, and after that, Instagram.
Depending on how relationships end and how you take the breakup, running across each other on the street can go in different ways. I try to end things in a way in which I won’t be nervous or annoyed if I see the other person again. And when it happens, if you don’t talk beyond a greeting and continue to walk by, it’s likely you won’t learn anything new about their lives.
These last few years, you can “run across someone” on the internet. Sometimes it’s by chance, sometimes by following a path you know is going to end with finding an internet profile you shouldn’t have seen. I won’t blame me or anyone for doing so. Sometimes we do things we know are going to hurt us, like smoking or eating unhealthy too often. But we can learn to treat ourselves better and change that behaviour.
Then, time passes by, and the day comes when you’re given an update on their lives by mutual friends or by a common internet place, and the feeling could be described as a “non feeling”. A surprising lack of interest, and realizing their business is not your business anymore. One step closer to inner peace.
