Tamrielic

The region of Skyrim, on the continent of Tamriel, is a place where you can say hi to any guard and, sooner or later, they’ll all tell you this: “I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee…” Fret not, I will bring a dragon to your town so you can live an adventure again, my chaotic good Dovahkiin would roleplay.

These guards’ lines remind me of moments when I’ve thought “I used to be an artist like you. Then… I don’t know what happened.” I think this when I visit a group exhibition I could have taken part in but I didn’t. Or when someone shows me their drawing notebooks, and I haven’t drawn in months.

Years ago, a work colleague mentioned things like drawing, taking pictures, swimming and yoga, and found myself replying “I used to do that.” I felt a bit of guilt and embarrassment because I considered I had turned lazy. Moments like this have ended up being wake-up calls. Seeing a colleague with the same free time I have, doing things I enjoy, reminds me that I can do them too.

I know I feel more active when I’m surrounded by creative people. Like when I’m studying anything related to art and see my classmates drawing and painting. You’re seeing this post because I’m “surrounded” (via RSS reader) by people that write in blogs, and their creativity is contagious even online. I hadn’t written in a blog in years, and now I’m back.

Not having a good habit for a while doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. I’ve come back to exercise or eating healthy many times. It would be ideal to stay consistent, but since that hasn’t been the case for me, what I can do is not be too hard on myself and remember I can always pick up a good habit again.

A video I shot at the Royal Botanic Garden of Sydney on 31 July 2016. I had recently bought an iPhone 6s and was clearly excited to try its stabilization, stop motion and slo-mo functions. The final version I uploaded to Facebook back then featured ‘Daydreaming’ by Radiohead as the soundtrack. This is the second-to-last version, with the original audio.

These last 14 days I’ve:

– Written a couple of drafts for this blog. Inshallah they’ll end up here.

– Made digital copies of important family documents. The floods in Valencia last October got me a bit scared of losing everything in the event of a disaster in my area. Buddhism and Fight Club made me okay with the idea of losing everything I own, but there’s no harm in being cautious.

– Tried Linux Mint for the first time. I installed a 240GB SSD in an old PC, and the Cinnamon Edition of Mint on it, and I’m loving it. This might be the distribution that makes me stay using Linux. I just needed it to be very easy to use. I’ll keep Windows 11 on my main PC, because of Adobe and gaming, but I’d like to install Mint in a partition as well.

– Set up a Plex server on that Linux PC, just to see if I could. It’s really cool but I don’t actually need it. I’d rather not have a PC running 24/7, and just plug in my external HDD whenever I want to watch movies and TV shows I totally own.

– Organized some audiobooks and podcasts and transfered them to my MP3 player, so I can listen to them when I want to go for a walk without bringing my phone as a player. If I did, I would lose my time with social media.

– Watched Prisoners and Companion, among other movies. But these two are the most well-constructed I’ve seen in a long time. I love Denis Villeneuve and I don’t know why I waited so long to watch Prisoners. Now I still have to watch 4 out of his 11 feature films: August 32nd on Earth, Maelström, Polytechnique and Sicario.

– Had deeper conversations with friends and acquaintances I usually meet in a club or social gatherings. I learned more about other ways they want to socialize, and now I’m more inclined to call them and say “move your ass right now, we’re going for coffee and chisme.”

15 days ago, I was asked if I wanted to join in a greeting video for a friend whose birthday is next month. Her husband is collecting short videos from friends and relatives, to edit them together and show her on her birthday.

I filmed mine yesterday and when I was finished I wondered how could I have waited two weeks to do this. Well, I wanted it to be perfect. And the previous days I would always find an excuse not to do it. I look bad today. My hair is a mess. My energy is low. It’s raining. I forgot.

The embarrassment of missing a deadline was a powerful thing for me when I was in school, and still sets me in action sometimes. Yesterday at 16:00, with two hours of daylight left, I wrote a draft of what I wanted to say in my notes app and went to the park near my house. I brought my Panasonic Lumix DC-GF9, a camera I use when I want to take quality photos but don’t want to carry something as big as the DSLR. But I quickly decided I wouldn’t film the video with it because, carrying the camera at arm’s length, the shot was not flattering at all. So, I switched to my Google Pixel 6a, found a nice spot with some trees in the background, and talked to the front camera.

I took three takes of about 10 seconds where I say something like “Hi! Happy birthday, I hope you’re having a beautiful day with your family. I’m sending you a big hug, and I hope we get to see each other a lot this year.” *sends kiss to the camera*

And just like that, I had another reminder that when I postpone something, it’s not because of laziness. Just a fear that a first step is not worth it if the result is not going to be perfect. But these are tasks that don’t need to be perfect. I’m not checking the pieces of a rocket I’m sending to the moon or performing brain surgery. I’m making a video. My friend will be happy to see people who love her in it and won’t care about any flaw. The video doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.

“I’ve read that it’s terrible.” Well, me too. But when it comes to cinema, TV shows, and music, not paying attention to bad reviews has often brought me nice surprises.

I’ve finished watching Squid Game 2 (I won’t spoil anything), and I’m surprised because I liked it so much. Yet, the only three opinions I saw on Instagram stories were about how much they hated it or had to stop watching. As a Steam user, I’m used to reading very negative reviews of video games I enjoy, and I know that most of the people who like something don’t express it too often on the internet. Or if they do, their opinion is not as intense as the negative ones.

Last year, one of the times when I didn’t pay attention to bad reviews, I was, in fact, in disbelief that such a movie made it to the cinemas. It happened with Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis. Watching it is an experience difficult to explain. It gives the impression that the filming must have been a headache for everyone except the director. But I won’t tell you not to watch it. It’s an experience like no other. And at least I can say, “I watched it in the cinema,” when it becomes a cult film. That’s something I wish I could say about The Room by Tommy Wiseau, named one of the worst films ever made. It didn’t even make it to theaters in Spain, but I watched it at home and can say it made me feel things: nervous laughter, second-hand embarrassment, and a desire to recommend it to anyone who, like me, enjoys trash culture.